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Xenophanes

Xenophanes Ghyphon(May 5th, 1945) is the dimwitted "best friend" of Walter Elroy Wolffe(Walter Hedgehog), who first appeared in the pilot, Pilot. He is the deuteragonist or probably the main protagonist, since Walter himself is an anti-hero. Xenophanes is pretty thin for a gryphon. In Hot Ice, it was revealed that Xenophanes "is only supposed to eat vegetables everyday and junk food every five years," which could be the secert for his thin shape. He is also the second main character, after Walter. He is also Walter's roommate. Walter doesn't like Xenophanes, but since Xenophanes is the only person able to pay the rent, Walter allows him to stay.

DescriptionEdit

Xenophanes constantly annoys Walter, having no idea that Walter is just using him for his money and strength. Xenophanes' first appearence was in the pilot, called Pilot. Ironically, the episode was about Walter traveling to Alberquerque to Chicago on a plane. Xenophanes appears at the end, only saying one line to Walter when he enters his apartment; "I'm your roommate!" In which the episode ends with Walter screaming in horror. Although, Xenophanes' first major appearence was in the very next episode; The Severed Day. Although Xenophanes pays the rent, he has no job whatsoever. But, he was a teacher in Capital English, but he was fired for not knowing simple math questions, such as 2 plus 2(in which he was fired immediately).


Xenophanes Gryphon has a resemblence of a bald eagle's head, with aquamarine eyes and the body of a lion. He also has large grey wings, but he almost never uses them. Instead, Xenophanes regularly calls a taxi or drives a bus, or any other transportation. But in season 1, Xenophanes, due to unsteady animation, had more greenish eyes with larger wings, and a more thinner and longer body. It wasn't until season 4 when Xenophanes will recieve his current form. Like Walter, he wears no clothes. Despite living mainly on vegetation, the current Xenophanes is chubbier than the old Xenophanes. Xenophanes probably gets his name from Xenophobia, which is the fear of strangers, foreigners, and aliens. Xenophanes does get scared when he meets someone new, ironically.

Antagonistic SideEdit

Xenophanes Gryphon is good-natured and is full of happiness, but uncharacteristically snaps at people around him when angered. Xenophanes frequently acts selfish, mad, psychopatic, and even deadly at times.


  • In Areopathic! Xenophanes wants to get Walter rid of his Acrophobia, even though Walter tells him not to.
  • In Severed Day, Xenophanes snaps at Walter for no reason whatsoever.
  • In Jail Bail, Xenophanes threatneds Walter and the Spring Penguin to get him out of jail.
  • In 99 cents, Xenophanes puts a rifle at Walter during the end, but doesn't shoot.
  • In Murder by Breath, Xenophanes is hypnotized by Garland into killing Walter and Spring Penguin, but fails.

BiographyEdit

Xenophanes Gryphon was born in Longtown, Missouri in May 5th, 1945. He was an adopted and only child of Harold Gryphon and Margie Griffin.

AncestoryEdit

Xenophanes was the son of Harold Gryphon, who built the plane of the infamous train of the Wholard Shard, a fictional train that was the first to go without train tracks in 1908. Xenophanes's mother was also the conductor, who piloted the train for thirty years until the crash of 1938 that finally made the Shard famous across headlines. The train crashed because a wheel oddly flew out of the train, hitting the window. Margie, distracted by the wheel, crashed into a tree and the tree fell on the train. Seventy-eight percent of the people on board were at the hospital(including Margie). Thirty-one percent dead, but Margie survived.

Xenophanes's great-great-grandfather, Sehnahponex(Say-hen-lah-bone-ex; which "Xenophanes" backwards; 1595-1643) was a Native-American who led the Wildebeest Hunt of the West back in 1628-1631. The Wildebeest Hunt was a three-year event that means its name, people hunt Wildebeest. Eventually, the event caused the Wildebeests to decline. It was supposed to last five years, but since Wildebeests were getting scarce, Sehnahponex let it last just three.

Early LifeEdit

Xenophanes went to Mt. Missouri Elementary at 1949. He was called a 'freak' at school because his classmates never heard of or saw a gryphon before. Xenophanes was also lonely. Because he was bullied often, Xenophanes missed the important things in school, like education. So, Xenophanes grew up dumb, not knowing his ABC's and 2 + 2. Eventually, Harold and Margie found out about their son's bullying, and moved him to Alberquerque to get him to a new school.

Bad TimesEdit

Xenophanes moved to Alberquerque at August 5th, 1950, being five years old. When his moving van finally came to Alberquerque, Xenophanes was sent to an unknown elementary school, but like his old school, Xenophanes was taken an immediate disliking. Harold and Margie had problems of their own; they were broke, and were forced to get Xenophanes a job in December, or face major bankruptcy. So, Xenophanes had to work at a restaurant in which he could be an assistant cook, where at age 8, Xenophanes would be a cook with his own assistant.

Worse TimesEdit

However, Xenophanes was given little pay. His boss, Mill Timon, was harsh to Xenophanes; paying him about $5.00 every six hours. Xenophanes works all day and night, having at least $20.00 each day. Xenophanes, age 9, would meet Walter Hedgehog, a twelve year old hedgehog who ran away from home. Xenophanes, toke pity on Walter and served him food and eventually let him stay at his home. However, things would just get worse for Harold and Margie.

Dreadful TimesEdit

Elroy-Walter Wolfe was a glutton to his new family. Harold and Margie Gryphon, disapproved Walter staying their house because of his personality. Whenever they were serving any food Walter seemed to like, Walter would eat all of it without any table manners and would leave the others to starve. Occasionally, Walter would leave tiny crumbs around, and Xenophanes and his family would have to eat the crumbs, well, if the cockroaches didn't get to it first. Walter, strangely liked everything his new family cooked(pork, beef, chicken, broccoli, fried food, etc.), which would result in Harold's patience reaching a pinnacle every day. However, with his son, Xenophanes being a cook, Harold tries to keep hope that maybe Walter could learn. He didn't. Then, one day, just he next month, Walter went too far. Margie always makes a special cake for Harold on his birthday. However, harold's birthday was in four days, so, that night, Walter snuck into the fridge and stole the cake, eating it WHOLE! When Harold found out, he was completely angered and kicked Walter out of his house immediately!

However, Xenophanes, being a nice person, found Walter and took him back in again. Walter said that he couldn't move back in with him because Harold and Margie wouldn't aprove of it. But, Xenophanes would later decide to let Walter live in his basement. Walter was not too enthusiastic about the idea, but when he heard that Xenophanes would provide food and he would have to do nothing, Walter finally decided. The plan did work, too. Xenophanes would make sure that the basement was secure, so his parents didn't bother to go in the basement for two years!


It was hard taking care of a spolied teenaged brat like Walter. Minor hypothermia came in the unheated basement regularly. But, Walter would make it seem more major then it really is. Walter would also not accept the food Xenophanes would give him, often asking for something else. However, when Walter spots something he likes, he would ask for more, but would never clean his plate. Harold and Margie got suspicion seeing Xenophanes bringing food to the basement, but Xenophanes would comment that he put poison on the food to get rid of mice. And the lie worked, as Xenophanes's parents both had Musophobia(fear of mice).

Walter, being tired of the cold basement, decided to get a job in February 1st, 1956. However, he did not tell Xenophanes, so, when Xenophnes walked into the basement with an omelot and steak covered in barbecue sauce, he found there was no Walter. He thought that Walter had a change of heart, felt sorry, and went for a job, so, Xenophanes ate the meal instead.

The Beginning of Better TimesEdit

Xenophanes would be a successful train conductor, like his parents, in a new train that he constructed in 1958. However, he was considered too young to direct a train at the age of 13. Xenophanes started going to near destanations, from Norton Sound Regional Hospital to Airport Pizza(both in Alaska; being just about a block away), but a year later, Xenophanes would go to Keelesdale Park, Totonto, Toronto, Ontario, Canada to Baker Road, Pennsylvania! Xenophanes was called the best teenaged train conductor since his run. More people would ride with Xenophanes than a full-grown conductor! Xenophanes's popularity grew, too, raising at least $643 every two months! However, despite being almost millionaires, Harold and Margie forced Xenophanes to quit and Xenophanes would conduct his last ride in April 26th, 1959. He only been a conductor for seven months, but Xenophanes left his former job with a smile and a pocket full of money. Xenophanes would enroll in a Chicago College(despite being too young to enroll it), but he was known as a train conductor, often being called Cap'n Xenophanes. Xenophanes was not teased however, and recieved a fair amount of college education, however, the only problem is that Xenophanes knows complex problems(such as 654+5235-43 x 321/221) instead of simple problems(such as ! + 1). Despite being half a genius, Xenophanes is still considered an idiot.

Better TimesEdit

Xenophanes would later become a buisnessman in Chicago. Although he was not as successful as a train conductor, Xenophanes would still be even happier with this job! Xenophanes would still be asked for rides but he would simply refuse. In June 5th, 1962, being the age of 17, Xenophanes would meet with his old "friend", Elroy-Walter Wolfe, while on his way to work. Walter asked Xenophanes for $20.00, but he gave him $50.00 instead! Walter didn't say thank you and simply ran away. Xenophanes would also gain about $246 a month. He finally had enough money to move out of his parent's house and into a new home. But, things have gotten even better for Xenophanes! Just a day after he brought his home, Xenophanes would win the lottery!

THE BEST OF TIMES!Edit

Xenophanes, now being a BILLIONAIRE, would travel around the Old World! From Ireland to Spain, from Russia to Sri Lanka, from Senegal to Madagascar! But, from traveling so long, Xenophanes would become homesick and return to Chicago in 1963. Xenophanes, now being a well-known and liked person, would win the lottery SIX more times, but would now live in a summer home in Alburquerque and living a neutral life from June 1964-December 1964.

Moving to ChicagoEdit

Xenophanes, who is usually a terribly ebullient person, felt down in the dumps one day. He was nineteen years old, already graduated from college and now a working buisnessman. But he was very sad one day in December 6th, 1964. He had strange dreams at night about him sinking in quicksand! This sadness(and weird dreams) continued into the 20th of December 1964, and that day, Xenophanes packed up all of his neat stuff and most treasured posessions into a clothes hamper. He said good-bye to his friends and family and sailed over to Chicago.

The Spring PenguinEdit

Xenophanes would now live in a small little house in Outer Harbor, next to Chicago in December 23rd, 1964. There, he would meet with a little penguin in a local coffee shop, which he visits weekly. However, when Xenophanes met the Spring Penguin, they did not become friends right away. Xenophanes, being just a nineteen year old, didn't know any better and laughed when The Spring Penguin was ordering a cappuchino in the seat next behind him.Then, they began a short feud. But, Xenophanes was a good-natured person, and eventually apologized, and the two began friends. The Spring Penguin would then visit Xenophanes daily, which made Xenophanes feel far less lonely.

FamilyEdit

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Harold, Xenophanes' father

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Margie, Xenophanes' mother

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Sam, Xenophanes' niece

Harold, is Xenophanes's father(born August 1st, 1887-April 5th, 1967). He was a former train conductor who takes pride in what he does. He is a fairly nice man, but he is exposed to jealousy and anger, which he is upset when Xenophanes's his son, learns to conduct a train better than himself! He later forces him to quit. Harold is usually seen flying, rarely taking his feet on the ground, unlike Xenophanes and Margie.



Margie(born in April 19th, 1889-June 9th, 1973) is Xenophanes's mother. She was a crossguard for almost nine years! She is a great protagonist, as she is completely selfless and humble. Although, she does have a few flaws, sometimes being a murderous antagonist at most! She is very protective and likes nothing better than her family to be safe. Because she is a crossguard, she almost never takes flight.






Samantha Jones(born in September 14th, 1968) is the niece of Xenophanes griffin. She made one appearence in The Money Net in April 8th, 1981, season 14.






HobbiesEdit

Xenophanes Gryphon has been infamous for his love of minor gambling and playing adult games such as pool(cue sport), poker, bowling, etc. It is unknown why, because Xenophanes is not a competitive person.

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